Uninspired
Sitting in my newfound apartment at 4:00 AM, reflecting on the past events that have unfolded recently. I have left Vietnam in the end of August to meet with my brother in Thailand for several days of relaxation and sun, which was quite an experience. I landed in Bangkok, immediately made my way to rendezvous with a bon ami from Vietnam (Johann) for lunch. Following that, I struggled with a taxi to take me to the Bangkok ‘South Station’ for buses. Once I arrived, I purchased a ticket to travel to Krabi, and almost immediately noticed that I was one of the only foreigners in the entire station bustling with hundreds of travelers. During the voyage, we made a stop in a remote food station, where I was the only foreigner. While eating together, not one person was engaged in conversation, the room was covered with a still silence.
Eventually, and to my stark disbelief, we arrived in the town of Krabi – at 4:00 AM (same time I am writing this entry by the way). I unpacked my things from the bus, and sat down in front of the entrance to the closed bus station. After some moments passed, and after several motorbike taxis approached me (willing to risk carrying the would-be excessive weight onto their small vehicles), a legitimate taxi (for Thailand anyway) strolled in. He agreed to take me to the pier where boats depart to the beach that I was going to, named “Raleigh Beach.” I had arrived too early, and thus was forced to spend a few hours in and out of a hazy sleep on the benches that normally serve waiting tourist passengers for the operating boats. Eventually, I was led to go with the departing Thai hotel staff serving the various resorts found on the beach accessible uniquely by boat.
My time spent there was veritably relaxing, and I was all-too-soon pulled back into the Bangkok frenzy the day following, as I had falsely believed that I would make the flight flying out from Bangkok to Los Angeles. I was naively wrong, and was forced to stay for two days in Bangkok. However, I spent a nice time with my Thai friends, and enjoyed visiting the sights that I had missed the previous year. My favorite was definitely the Royal Palace. Now I’m back in Arizona, and these memories seem worlds away. I am bogged down in my studies, and have yet to complete the ‘internship report’ necessary for the double degree with ESC Toulouse in International Management. My lifestyle is so different here from abroad, especially from that of Hanoi, Vietnam. I think that I am just in a paradigm where I view most of the events in Arizona from an outside perspective, as I already consider myself no longer attached to the area. I very much plan on leaving once I graduate.
The most difficult challenge for me presently is my lack of being able to connect with the environment, and my perception that it’s very un-stimulating. Granted, I do study and learn significantly, but personally there is nothing very interesting for me currently. Life is very predictable, and in turn I am simply bored with the lifestyle. I just need to find activities to break up the routine. Concurrently, it does allow me to focus on studying and thinking about what I am doing to be doing in the following years. On top of that, I am meeting interesting and international/internationally-minded people and continuing to see those who are my true friends who I have known for years. I just need to stay positive and keep trying my best.
FIGHTING!
Greets,
Matthew
